What If

B-B-Buckroll
Shinobic
Every single day, and I know
Sometimes I pull through
But that is okay (okay), that is okay

Listen
I made less than a thousand, but my fans are what mean the most to me
I'm lying if I told you I didn't think about leaving
When I'm buying groceries, thinking 'bout where I'd be
If I didn't sign, like, would anyone still notice me?
Would I be where I'm at? Would I be in this position?
Would I have made it? Would I be happy with 80 listens?
Doing things I couldn't speak of, wishing I did it different
Hindsight is 2020, I had 2018 vision, so listen
When I'm speaking, I haven't wrote like this in a minute
But I keep having dreams where I die sleeping
And if it's my time based on what I believe in
I did what I'm supposed to, I'm sure God had his reasons, what if...

Sometimes I pull through
But that is okay
that is okay

I used to love to read the comments, I read 'em like it was daily news
Now when I scroll passed 'em, it feels like I'm paying dues
What if I stayed in school, I would've just paid to lose
And lately, I've been realizing who I'm praying to
Time is precious, the best things come when you least expect it
I'd rather be the least successful than the least respected
The first six years, I spoke from the same perspective
'Broke Not Broken' and only the Speck will get it
What if making it is never my definition of made it?
But doing what you love is never time wasted
I'm crazy and in love with the destiny I've created
I'm crazy and in love but that's life as a creative
I'm thinking about the times I spent with Katherine
What if I spent less time on FaceTime and more time rappin'?
What if I spent more time thinkin' 'bout what I've done than what I haven't?
The ship has sailed and left without the captain
I'm saying what if you spent more time thinking 'bout your actions
And less about the caption on your next post?
It's been a year, I think it's time to let go
It's hard to speak on what could've happened
When I'm too focused on my next goal, but what if...

Sometimes I pull through
But that is okay
that is okay

Yeah
What if I stuck around to chase her and never stopped my obsessions?
I wanted to pop the question, wanted to tie the knot
And not worry about the tension the dream brings
She cut it off, told me dream big, saw I was something special
I told her that she was seeing things
Blessed with a beautiful fortune teller, that's where the journey all started
She forced me to know it better, I'd been through all sorts of weather
That particular storm had switched up the course forever
Plenty of dropped calls to God
Regretting that we had no connection
Alone and left with all my motives questioned, somehow I knew I'd be okay
I'm just better off letting Logan tell 'em, can't help to ask
What if I actually had a savings and didn't spend what I'm making
On making sure that I'm heard, and what they hear is amazing
If I was involved in dating like everyone at my age is
I'd probably be with Delanie, she's on the verge of engagement, it hurts
But it brought me closer to this
I found myself through failed relationships, I loathe to admit
What if one of 'em had returned all of the love that I gave?
Where the fuck would I be today? I'm glad they led me astray
What if...

Sometimes I pull through
But that is okay
That is okay

What if I signed? What would've changed? It's hard to speculate
When one of 'em's doing great, but some others fell off the face
Right label, wrong place, my state of mind couldn't shake
I'd rather get thrown to the wolves than have someone provide a plate and
Take everything to the bank, that's a 100%
I've had conversations with Pack', nothing but love and respect
Never rejected, offer's pending if I recall what he said
I've grown since, what if we sat down and revisit percents
Man he changed my life twice, he let me share the stage
That generosity's a quality he bears without awareness, fate
Should bring it into fruition if this is written
But I'm done asking all the "what ifs," this story's different, for real

For real to play
Yes we got secrets, we share them every single day
And I know, sometimes I pull through
But that is okay
That is okay