Voices

No longer afraid of the fear
That Critique
That voice in my head
Tormenting me for years
Mortified by the need to go do
No spirit or touch with the lord
Only Boredom
Broken down shattered
Scattered out around the ground
It was up to me find
Who am I
Does it truly matter
If I disappear
If I knock on your door
Will you let me
If my heart stopped beating
Would you resuscitate
Fixated on way to fix something
That was never broke
You can laugh all you want
But that shame is to blame
You can say you did your best
Ha we know that's a lie
Can't hide from the light
When its right in your eyes
In the darkest moments
As the days are ending
And your memory is gone
And you stop pretending
All the voices in your head
No longer are afraid
They are healed by compassion
Which never go's away

When I learned that the voices in me
Were a part of me
Not all of me
I became
I came along way while the world spin
Learned to slow it down and calm the whirlwind

I flipped a coin in to the well
In hopes to have a dream come true
Guess I'm optimistic
I apologize if that part of me that was in the drivers seat
That wasn't suppose to be
Immaturity had me afraid of being intimate
And as a kid that experience of worthlessness
Was like a thousand pounds
No teachers there to help
Process all the pain
Just some voices in my head
That were misled
Left me in a state of limbo
Nowhere to go who could I call upon
Kids raising kids
Mom gone work alcoholic
Had to feed the wallet
Support the alcoholic
Thankful for all of my survival strategies
Kept me calm when the world was chaotic
Out of control loss of innocence
It's hard for a young child to make sense
Lacking guidance and emotional intelligence
In a world so complex