Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer
We're a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns, quick change comedians
Tight-rope walkers and acrobats

We have an extensive reputation
We make our home in Victoria Grove
This is merely our centre of operation
For we are incurably given to rove

We are very well known, in Cornwell Garden
In Launceston Place and in Kensington Square
We have really a little more reputation
Than a couple of cats can very well bare

If, the area window is found ajar and the
Basement looks like a field of war
If a tile or two, comes loose on the roof
Which presently fails to be waterproof

If the drawers are pulled out, from the bedroom chests
And you can't find one of your winter vests
If after supper, one of the girls
Suddenly misses her Woolworth pearls

The family will say, "It's that horrible cat"
"Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer?"
And most of the time, they leave it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, have a very unusual gift of the gab
We're highly efficient cat burglars as well
And remarkably smart at a smash and grab

We make our home in Victoria Grove
We have no regular occupation
We are plausible fellows, who like to engage
A friendly policeman in conversation

When the family assembles for Sunday dinner
With their minds made up that they won't get thinner
On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens
And the cook will appear from behind the scenes

And say in a voice that is broken with sorrow
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow
For the joint has gone, from the oven like that"

The family will say, "It's that horrible cat"
"Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer?"
And most of the time, they leave it at that

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer
Have a wonderful way of working together
And some of the time, you would say it was luck
And some of the time, you would say it was weather

We'd go through the house like a hurricane
And, no sober person can take his oath
Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpleteazer?
Or could you have sworn that, it might have been both?

And when you hear, a dining room smash
Or up from the pantry there comes, a loud crash
Or down from the library there comes, a loud ping
From a vase, which is commonly said to be ming

The family will say, "Now, which was which cat?"
"It was Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer"
And there's nothing at all to be done about that