L.M.C.

L.M.C... The K.I.D... S.I.S

Straight-framed glasses on a tall drink of water
Taking grad classes, hard knocks alma mater
Murdered-out lipstick might paint this misfit
Otherwise don't expect to see any makeup on her

All you trash talkers are simply cannon fodder
For this middle finger raising, thirty something multi-baller
Conscious of her family but not a momma's daughter
This blonde from Colorada's a spitting image of her father

Not at all prim and proper, tall as a tree
Rocking striped tube socks and ripped off sleeves
Jags oughta check themselves, crossing paths on the street
Unless they want to get kinged byy checkered vans on her feet

See, you'd better recognize before you're left dead inside
Standing there, petrified as she screams, testify!
When that mesh cap's brim's raised like a fin
Read the warning sign, Mr. Bear's off his leash

Once you meet the L to the A
You'll rethink who the hell U R
See, the E means you're N'd
This pinball queen's not one to compete against

Put your quarters up and play
I guarantee, you'll need a full jar
Once ball three sees its end
It's time to bend the knee, McNeil at each event

You'd think that someone getting sidelined by loss so tragic
Would just give up and figure life no longer mattered
But leave it up to Lauren to rise from the ashes
From two, both of who if still alive would be so ecstatic

With how she sowed those seeds in Nevada
Staying clean and sober, grieving for them in tandem
Her strength amazes me, when turmoil wouldn't cease
She remained determined to turn soil under cactus

Her passion helped the closed-captioned speak
Giving "fresh starts" to those who only knew, "woe-is-me"
Took the reins and drove that van
Leading a treatment program in a no man's land

With all the previous tilts and the quarters that spilled
Flipped tails to heads to make their road back grand
Confidence she instilled to a populous in need of help
Complements how she excels at any hold-pass planned

A Vale-born beast with a stance that might make you nervous
But with Mr. Bear on his leash it's all hamsters and maple syrup

Once you meet the L to the A
You'll rethink who the hell U R
See, the E means you're N'd
This pinball queen's not one to compete against

Put your quarters up and play
I guarantee, you'll need a full jar
Once ball three sees its end
It's time to bend the knee, McNeil at each event

This veteran of the B.A.G. long tenured, bar tender
Will always be remembered by that Caliente center
Not the only mark she's made knock on the cabinet replays
Are often heard these days from this tournament contender

Hell's Bells clang at each IFPA event, but
Not even outlanes can drain courage from her ventures
Each ball lost means a probable extra
With an extended auto-save, hurry-ups won't test her

Addam's Family shrugs as her highest score prevents ya
From telling a Fish Tale about 1-UP'ing her in Denver
Space Jam, slamming scores that'll straight up dismantle yours
Skills that sing Soprano chords after an Attack from Mars

This one bad mama jama kicks dust off JAMMA boards
Until your loose change becomes an exchange you can't afford
Instead of setting up bars, serving trash, sickly stiff
She now sets the bar without a mask on Batman 66

A Vale-born beast with a stance that might make you nervous
But with Mr. Bear on his leash it's all hamsters and maple syrup

Once you meet the L to the A
You'll rethink who the hell U R
See, the E means you're N'd
This pinball queen's not one to compete against

Put your quarters up and play
I guarantee, you'll need a full jar
Once ball three sees its end
It's time to bend the knee, McNeil at each event