Disappoint You

Will the familiar feeling of you leaving ever change?
I write a list of all the people that I miss and I start at the top of the page
But it's always the same
I write your name and let my head change lanes
Close the cover, go about my day
And I wait

I just don't want to disappoint you
And I don't want you feeling wronged
Laid there in denial
Silent in our sighs
We'll take another night
Then say our goodbyes

I spent nights with eyes on the ceiling almost every day
Hours awake laid in a semi-there state
Both too stubborn to admit it's late
But it's always the same
Because between the fight and unavoidable decline lies a worry that you're not alright

I just don't want to disappoint you
And I don't want you feeling wronged
Laid there in denial
Silent in our sighs
We'll take another night
Then say our goodbyes

(But will you want this anymore, will you still want this, Eleanor?)

So here it is
My note to you
Now that we're through
I love you