Pain and Pleasure

I feel so low, I get so high
I wait all week to say goodbye
To all my fears, to all my pain
I always want to feel the same
I live my life, by that I mean
I live my life in ecstasy
I want it all, but nothing seems enough

I like my dad and his dad too
I sometimes wish I never knew
The things I need to feel okay
To get me through a single day
This fucked-up bit, this legacy
To live my life in ecstasy
The dopamine, I always call its bluff

Boredom-fueled doodles in the margins of my mind
And they're always singing
"Nah, nah, nah, better grow up, you're so behind"
He who sells you drugs must have vices of his own
But I'm stupid 'cause I lose myself and I can't go back home

I'm doing well, I'm doing fine
I'm living life in record time
I use it up, I wear it out
I make it do or do without
I try to take more consciously
To live my life responsibly
It fucks me up, 'cause now it's in our love

My ears fall off, my mind goes numb
I just forget, I feel so dumb
My heart shines bright, I feel so warm
I feel like I was just reborn
I love it so and then I take
And yet I know the feeling's fake
I feel myself but what have I become

The things we do together, we're gonna go to Hell
But if you're gonna do something, you better do it well
Sometimes I think I'm in so deep I'll just get stuck
But you know that it's a long way down when you're this high up

I wanna get addicted
But I don't wanna be addicted
I wanna get addicted
But I'm so damn addicted to you