Kill Yourself

Have you ever felt sad or lonely?
Have you ever felt two feet tall?
Have you ever thought
"Man, if only I was anybody else at all!"
They like to kick you when times get rough
And you give your all, but it's not enough

And sticks and stones might break your bones
But words can break your heart
But if you don't know where to go
I'll show you where to start

Kill yourself
It'll only take a minute
And you'll be happy that you did it
Just go over to your oven
And shove your head in it

Kill yourself
Really you should do it
There's, ah, really nothing to it
Just, ah, grab a mug and chug a cup of lighter fluid

Okay, now
I feel like you pulled back
Maybe it's on account of the fact that I was
Telling you to kill yourself over and over again

I'm just trying to make a simple point
That these-
That life's toughest problems don't have simple answers
You shouldn't just be brave
You shouldn't just roar
You shouldn't kill yourself

But I understand that
It's a sensitive subject and you're probably just hearing me say that
And I've dealt with, I don't want to be insen-

Look, I sound unempathetic
I sound mean and rude
Suicide is an epidemic
And I don't wanna be misconstrued
Signs of depression go overlooked

So if you're depressed
Then you need to book a therapy session
Talk about your depression
And let a professional hear it

But if you search for moral wisdom
Then kill yourself
It won't be painful
If you are able
To give a little kiss to an oncoming train

You'll kill yourself
It's over, mull it
There's a trigger, pull it
Get it through your head
"It" being a bullet

Stick your tongue in a plug
Suck a pipe of exhaust
Make some toast in the tub
Nail yourself to a cross

Hold your breath 'til it's gone
Drink a gallon of mace
Be gay in Iran
Let Oprah sit on your face

Jump off of a bridge
Skinny dip in a flood
Sky dive attached to a fridge
Drink a Haitian guy's blood

Break into the zoo
Give the tiger a shove
Eat a Phillip's head screw
Marry Courtney Love