Fifteen

I was fourteen you were fifteen by just a few months you'd remind me
I still think of you the same I did that day
When I was eighteen you were nineteen yeah I was leaving you wouldn't find me
I couldn't feel good alone unless I knew that you would stay
You grew your hair out just to spite me; I was a nuanced sort of frightening
Kept thinking that everything you did came back to me

Do you wish I had stayed
Or gone away

Wait and you will find me, I barely even paused it felt so frightening
I barely even thought it out, pretending I see things clearly
But now we'll wait, move on, get on, get over
I couldn't stay awake, you couldn't stay here sober
I watched you move along, you watched yourself float right through me

But now it's all coming back to me
The way you want I just couldn't need
The way you left I would never leave
You asked me please

Did I forget about those two straight years you spent with me
In the electric fields between our parent's streets maybe
That's when I knew you'd go to war for me

When I found you there were scars where sunspots used to be
But I had licked myself a spotless clean I think
I tried to hide but you'd seen
There was no fight there in me