Love Isn't What It Used to Be

Love isn't what it used to be
No, sirree!
No, sirree!
No shrinking violets too scared to say "yes"
No leading up to a gentle caress
Just grab a handful and damn the finesse
Love isn't what it used to be
Love's getting really up-to-date
And the kids think it's great
No "Pray, unhand me! I'd rather be dead!"
No asking papa permission to wed
It's just "Hiya honey!" and hop into bed
Love isn't what it used to be
It's quite apparent that a parent
Is a dear old-fashioned thing
He'll brood for days on a liaison
That hasn't got a wedding ring
But now it's a different cup of tea
Love is gay, love is free
Marry on Monday and, with no remorse,
Set out on Tuesday to get a divorce -
Then find another on Wednesday of course!
Love isn't what it used to be
They used to do their minuetting
In a manner most genteel
But now it's you there with your petting
It's like a blinking five-course meal
No, love used to be just like champagne
Now it's gone down the drain
So don't send them flowers to put round their necks
What good are flowers? They'd rather have cheques
To hell with the romance, let's start on the sex!
Love isn't what it used to,
Love isn't what it used to,
Love isn't what it used to be