Anxiety

Dear Anxiety
You a toxic friend
We known each other for a while
But I'm not going where you been
When I go outside
I won't be surprised
Dis my life
Not something
you decide
I'm done with all your lies
It's been real
But it's time to say goodbye
I'm not perfect
Love, me myself an I
Yeah when I got outside
I won't be surprised
Dis my life
Not something
You decide

Yeah I've got some mental health problems
And not too proud
to admit
I needed help to try and solve 'em
Diagnosed with panic disorder
But what does that mean
This call you don't wanna screen
It means I get attacks
It means I have no slack
It means I feel so deep underwater
I don't think I can come back
So I avoid situations where I might get uncomfortable
And if I don't leave I'm paralyzed
Fuck I'm paralyzed

In a way I can't control
And
Breathing
Becomes
Excessively
Hard

It was all in my head
Now it's here in these bars
It means I wanna stay home
It means I wanna be alone
I'm a touch agoraphobic
But nobody'd ever know it
Me and my disorder
We're the perfect fit
Don't I know it
Just color coordinated my bookshelf
Trying to make myself feel something else

Dear Anxiety
You a toxic friend
We known each other for a while
But I'm not going where you been
When I go outside
I won't be surprised
Dis my life
Not something
you decide
I'm done with all your lies
It's been real
But it's time to say goodbye
I'm not perfect
Love, me myself an I
Yeah when I got outside
I won't be surprised
Dis my life
Not something
You decide

We first got intimate September 18
Felt like a boulder pressin down on me
I'll always remember
Those tingly hands
Life blocked itself Like that hoover dam
The simplest things
Likes standing up
Made me nauseous
Someone said to meditate
But I was like no I got this
I didn't have it
I completely broke down
Flights were canceled
Life not handled
I can only see that now

Dear Anxiety
You a toxic friend
We known each other for a while
But I'm not going where you been
When I go outside
I won't be surprised
Dis my life
Not something
you decide
I'm done with all your lies
It's been real
But it's time to say goodbye
I'm not perfect
Love, me myself an I
Yeah when I got outside
I won't be surprised
Dis my life
Not something
You decide

I never felt enough
Life got really rough
The stress gave me acne
Now I'm cystic sadly
Spironolactone I take it every day
I can't stand the taste but it keeps me unafraid
But I've got so much to say
I don't have to live this way
Got a therapist now
Getting out my own way
Anxiety so bad
Most nights couldn't sleep
People told just get pills, or how about you smoke some weed
But that's just not me
So I made some changes
And I'm so happy to say this
That I'm doin so much better
But I do still anxious
You can say what you want
I know you have to come along
Always there
In my ear
Telling me things
I don't wanna hear
Yeah you've had your fun but
I'm in control now
Watch me steer



Credits
Writer(s): Kelly Madera
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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