When I Was 22

When I was 22
I found my Lord and Savior
Signed up for a church
Called out of work
And I went about changing my behavior

Found a pastor who bought me some coffee
He said "Son let your faith never waver,
For if it ever did
You could end up my like my kids," he said
"Cause God only saves baptized believers."

Then along a celebrity singer
Who said church was the work of the deceiver
"There ain't no heaven, ain't no hell,"
His voice rang like a bell
"No creator, just karma, and us creatures."

So I got me some books and started reading
The authors all called each other traitors
They did not agree
They said it's plain as day to see
That they were right
And we'll thank them all later

Well, I've got a mind of my own
Brilliant, and filled with insights major
Maybe you're saving the faith
But give me a break
It's just masturbation
Without the vibrator

And I am a decent example
Of a guy that should probably be a preacher
But I'll spare you the trauma
Of my bullshit and my dogma
And I'll never take a job as a teacher

I fancy myself a prophet
But I find employment much safer
No speaking in tongues
Just the ideal son
No broken bread
Just a baker

Well the law, it is written in stone
And the Bible is written on paper
One tells you what's to do
One tells you what's been done
But neither can love its own neighbor

There is a moral to go with this rambling
Consider this the shot
Not the chaser
In just a few words
I still believe what I heard
About the King that was born in the manger

When I was 22
I found my Lord and Savior
Signed up with a church
But it still hasn't worked
And I sure as hell don't feel any saner