Scars

Dear Ma
I'm sorry for all the pain I caused
All the sleep you lost
Worried sick about ya children
While I always out chillin
In the hood up to no good
On the block
With them rocks in my socks
Dodging shots from a glock
Having. Daily run ins with the cops
From smoking weed and selling drugs
To popping them hot hollow slugs from a snub
They labeled me a thug
Can't walk the streets without the heat
Without having Beef
Without getting harassed or chased by the police
Still you told me
The truth I needed to hear
And you were just here
I just hugged you, just kissed you
Said goodbye and I love you
Now I miss you
Little did I know it be the last hug or last kiss
Last goodbye in the script
You gone now, and my whole world flipped
You were the ear that would listen
The tongue that uplifted
The soul that prayed wishing
The super woman who in a million
Ways never stopped giving
But you gone and these scars can't remain hidden

I got these scars on me
Yeah, The pain is ever so real
I got these thoughts in me
I don't know how to deal
I got this numbness all over
What should I feel?
Lord I need help
How do I heal?

Another one gone
How do I move on
With a love so strong
For my big bro Shun
Shunny Boy
You know what
U taught me so much
Every time I had a need
U came through in the clutch
Any time I needed love
You were the one
You were the crutch
I stayed with liquor on my breath
And in my ear was a blunt
Still you brought me to church
And put food in my gut
Dropping knowledge on me about the one
My days were dark
Yet U were showing me the Son
You were the light
When I couldn't find my way
You were the brother who at the drop of a dime would pray
Or play or talk and stay
You never just talked the talk
You walked the walk every day
God I pray we never talk the talk but we walk the walk every day
Everyday

I got these scars on me
The pain is ever so real
I got these thoughts in me
I don't know how to deal
I got this numbness all over
What should I feel?
Lord I need help
How do I heal?

I've lost so many
I know They still with me
I see their faces when I close my eyes
Laying down to try
And get some shut eye
They're there in my mind
The memories play over and over
I can't lie
I hit rewind
Cuz I don't ever wanna forget their voice or the times
We had together in this life
The smiles and the strife
I pray that they fly high
Higher than a kite
We all living to die
And right now I'm trying to fight
Back these emotions
And every negative notion
Vying for control
I'm praying for it all
To all be set in motion
As I approach the throne room
To speak with the Father & focus
I place my trust there
Knowing that my God's all knowing