Raised Christian!

As I stare at this book in my damned hands
It was more than a book but His grand plans
Took a hold on my life, and I can't stand
People praise, but I see cramped fans
Started wondering what was left for me
Started wondering what was right for me
Started thinking of leaving all I knew
But you know I can't leave without a fight from me
Why am I still crying over my ex?
Why does the pain cease to subside me when it was over a year ago,
Last time that I checked, shout out Nipsey Hussle
I've been trying to work my mind out like a muscle
Hustle, grind, then pass out again
But it's time to shine with my penmanship
Guess I bit into an apple that I can't chew
Guess I've been lying, long nose like Gru
Grew out of the home that had served me well
When it told me I would go to hell if I lived a way the pastor said
Women can't preach
Can they pray? Y'all just really want them on their knees
That's a joke but it's true though,
Like Canada, aren't the best jokes all true though? (Trudeau)
I don't wanna commit to being atheist cause I feel like God probably does exist
It's just hard when I feel truly alone
At least I'm not drinking Truly's alone
But it's truly hard to realize
Until you get your real eyes and see some real lies
That these church-goers are holier-than-me
I don't want a church, but I need sanctuary
Cause life got me rocked and it just socked me in the face
Now I look how I feel, at least now that's different
Kicked up the pace, now I'm winning
Don't understand this thing, I forgive ya
I'm just tired of big religion
You know the kind that doesn't teach you fishing
You know the kind that doesn't wanna sit and listen
Am I religious? Well, I was raised Christian

I was raised Christian
But now I don't know where I'm going
I was raised Christian
But now I don't know where I'm going

I don't feel like closing my eyes for a minute a day
Call me old fashioned, but I like face to face
But it feels like You're spraying mace
Is that what you want?
Ok I'll leave
Is this the result?
Thousands of years of achieving, believing
But seeing has never even been done before
You said I'll go blind if I see you, I'm filthy
What kinda sense does that make?
You said that you'll always be with me huh?
Then why do I feel like a mistake?
Why do I feel like I've lost my way
Why do I feel like a damn disgrace
Why do I always feel out of place
When I know that you'd still come down out of space
If I let you

I was raised Christian
But now I don't know where I'm going
I was raised Christian
But now I don't know where I'm going