Smoke

Brought him up like a prodigy
Father was circumspect
Mother was only quietly
Bottling up regret
The steady collapse
Fashioned out follies unsaid
Until the daughter went to college And the drama was fed
I used to wake up in the morning With a dream in my head
Now I just wake up every morning And I cling to a bed
The desperation is unhealthy
and it's hellishly wed
To my aspirations and abdication
Of any maintenance so
Maybe I'm concentrating too hard
On the wrong details
Surely some luck would prevail
Or divinity would follow through
But all of you have seen me from
The other side of the bridge
And if any of them burned
I'm probably glad that they did
Coz I don't want you
To see how I live
I fell so fucking hard off the wagon
I broke my ribs
Punctured a hole in my heart
And bled to my fucking fingertips
So I can write out a poem in red About all the shits that I give

Smoke

You never needed it then
So why you doin' it now

Wish I could shake the feeling
My future is in the shitter
Wish I could take the healing
I'm reeling from all the sutures
Thousands of tiny stitches
And itches from past wounds
Found my compliance missing
When asked if I would resume
A frivolous interaction
Distracted me from my muse
Bitter from my inaction
Dissatisfaction will brew
The Similac for the atrophy
Festering in the womb
The pregnancy of the maverick Giving birth to the blues
Gimme first on the blues
For picking the short straw
The very same that I used
To inhale a study withdrawal
It's drawing blood from the veins Before Satan can cash the check
I am next on the board of vain Attempts to bargain with my debt
Collect all of my belongings
And move to another state
Change my face in a month
And again in another eight
Relocate to the place
I initiated disgrace
And I ind myself on the first square Hating the way it tastes

Smoke

You never need it then
So why you doin' it now