Life of the Questionnaire

Some days I woke up with gloom lying within my morning stretches

Other days I sat at the edge of my bed with the war of mindsets
Increasing its gruesomeness

Visualizing the fight between my prosperity against my pain
The outnumbering members of my pain been decreasing the power of my prosperity
I'm having a major war within myself,
Where this transition is going to make me or break me

For the sake of me, I really want this transition
To become something that awakens the great in me

For so long I've been battling this depression,
Asking myself when is this period of my life is going to be over

My unhappiness spread into my attitude and influenced my actions

Living life by the flesh, allowing my broken emotions
To create a secluded room filled with the whispers of me
Not living up to being what I've always dreamed of becoming

Successful...

I'm living within my mind more then I'm living my life...
I'm present physically but I've vanished mentally and I've been gone for a minute
But each second of the day I always reminisce on what has damaged me back in time
I still wake up with nose bleeds and soreness

Every drop of blood, I see the heartaches and pains endured previously
As my day begins to turn to long nights

I feel the entire world crashing on me

I just don't understand how I can establish a way of standard living
If I'm constantly grieving the same brokenness occurring within every season

I'm pacing back and forth physically and pacing forth and back mentally

I don't really understand what's this mix going on in my head
But I'm stuck trying to understand a way to unlock myself from this realm

I've tried looking in the mirror to stare this void out my spirit

But it stares into disliking myself more and more than what I did before
Looking myself in the eye

It's been so hard trying to face myself and understand what I am and who I am
I feel like a temple with no sort of life within it
Zombie-like pace with procrastination at its finest

The pain that opens my heart to grieving established mind-blowing scenarios
That somehow came true in a sense of outcome

But am I wrong for thinking that the devastation behind the unexpected will happen Before the expectation of what I've always wanted?

Will this void ever be filled before I lay on my death bed if my life isn't taken
Before I can reach a bed to lie on before I take my last breath

Where am I going to end up if I don't find myself out of this dark forest
With an overcast of temptations to drive me from life to death?

So many questions without any answers
Because I'm afraid to take the next step due to the outnumbered pains
Surrounding me ready to kick me down if I decide to try and get back up

Mental exhaustion is real in this exhibition called life
I just ask myself is mine really over...