R.I.P.

These days circular time feels like a Change Of Seasons
A pain engraved so deep within, I try to find a reason
My mind might find the rhymes I try to gift to all these people
Abide that time arose a rose so cold it petals freedom
Your name is main to reign inside me so you're never leaving
Your memory, reverie, never see the ending sequence
Your wife still writes poems now because she still believes in
Connection through words, I know you hear her
Wish you could answer back at times she feels her hope is sleeping
I'm trying to live the life you told me to lead
But in a chessboard, I'm not the player
I am misused, a tool, I am the piece
I think back at your words
I work verses to try to find my peace
And now that you're gone I can't seem to find relief
But it's not you're fault
I know you can't find the words to speak
And so I am writing a song inspired by your scriptures
And try to not break down
All while I rip apart the beat

I have to live my life
Thinking when I lit a pipe
I take a deep breath, death feels closer when you know that time is flying
The clock is ticking, unused seconds are a wasted dime
Said I'm feeling fine
But the passing of my peers, tear me up
And now the fear's sublime
I can't get close to no one
Because I'm fucking scared they'll die
On me again, so I'm
Counting the minutes till my soul is frozen
Corpse is poison
Closing motion now a potent omen
Emotion woven into all my poems
Pedal to the motherfucking metal when the poem's spoken
And everyday I'm rolling into broken moments
Fucking coping
Everytime I remember you that shit is making me insane
It's making me mental when I hear your name
Because I still can't fathom that you can't follow your passion
It's a fucking shame
It's all the same, the flame has to be ignited so I can reach my aim
And work towards becoming whatever you became

Grandpa, I hope you hear me
I hope you listened to what I'm saying and I hope you see me
I've been giving my everything to get over you
But I still can't manage because my soul is freezing
I hope you Rest In Peace