Butterfly Effect

I've meditated on forms of self medication
Then realized self medication was all in my meditation
Heaven knows that hell is waiting
Fore I sleep to stay elevated
Close me eyes and dwell on how every breath taken is breathtaking
Granted I take for granted the blood that pumps through my veins
The oxygen in my lungs
The thoughts that run through my brain
As if it's just owed to those who overdose with complaints
I suppose if I'm supposed to go I'm supposed to know it's ordained
I guess I put hope in fate
I guess I hope it's not fake
For instance without its existence how I cope with mistakes
Decision I chose to make
That's hindered my growth today
How I live with no purpose written
I've given so much away
Believing it's for a reason my reasoning everyday
But seasons change and I still see the same seasoning on my plate
I mean it's demeaning been meaning to ask God for a meaning
But I'm leaning towards maybe a past transgression keeps me at bay
Ain't gave it all but am I wrong for giving some
Don't know if God exists but if he does hope he's a forgiving one
Always held myself accountable taken responsibility
Accepted all of the consequences choices have given me
Am I the man I'm supposed to be still feel like something's missing
A potential I would've reached had I done things a bit different
Answers I'll never find or maybe I'm just not ready
All these thoughts clouding my mind as I feel my eyes grow heavy
Then suddenly I wake up to a man with no face to give
Opens his hands revealing two different pills on some matrix shit
He says the blue one gives you wealth but you'll still live with things you did
The red one let's you go back to talk with yourself as a kid
No hesitation young breeze this is hard to believe
But see I'm from a different time and it's important we speak
Don't even ask me who I am or this could take all night
Just listen to what I say this just might save yo life
See I've been where you been all confused and alone
All that anxiety that stems from the tension at home
You gotta let it all out or later that turns to hate
You'll take it out on ones u love and push those ppl away
Lot of anger inside and you'll start questioning why
Random moments when you're alone you'll just break down and cry
See I know you don't you let that anger control you
There's ways to let off steam that I can show you
Take a deep breath step back don't react off emotion
If it ain't hurt your well-being let it go and keep goin
See when you're mad you talk down to ppl then condescend
One of the main reasons most of your relationships end
You're good with words but attacks are not how they should be used
People they listen to you even in your verbal abuse
See that breaks people's spirit you'll start damaging women
With things they're self conscious bout you'll just use it against em
Stop that learn to fall back when you all mad
When it goes too far its all bad
Running through all those women that don't mean that you grown
If your intentions aren't pure leave that lil girl alone
And you gon' spend money on stupid shit to attract em
But if she right for you all of your possessions don't matter
See those rims on your car they don't mean shit in the end
Read a book on how to invest all the money you'll spend
It's not your fault you had no father to teach it
Spoiler alert bro you never gon' meet him
And you'll think it don't effect you but it's more than you know
Teaching yourself to be a man tryna be tough on your own
Makes you a leader and so many will follow your lead
And it'll kill you cuz you can't give everything that they need
But don't expect non in return the world is crazy with greed
You'll kill yourself bandaging ppl while they watching you bleed
And some intentions ain't pure watch the circle you keep
Smile in ya face while the jealous feelings run deep
Look they using you they'll dispose of you when they through with you
Watch their response when you tell em ain't nothing to eat
But some will get the best of you don't let it get to you
Plot revenge it'll only stress and mess with you it's best to move
Yeah find that inner peace dwell on it and let it be
Cuz anger weakens your power and power let's you be free
That's what it's bout man the power to choose
Don't let the world change you just always be you
See you gotta good heart it's just the hand you were dealt
Tryin' to heal the whole world at the cost of your health
Music's your dream eat and breathe that shit
Lot of distractions in your life you gotta leave that shit
Yeah yo friends gon' wanna party you don't need that shit
And these hoes see your potential don't believe that bitch
Our time is up I gotta go young Breeze
I need you to soak this in before you grow up please
If we ever meet again I hope the terms will be different
If I wake up and things have changed I then know that you listened