Everybody Today Is Turning On (From "I Love My Wife")

For some it's grass, for some it's coke
For some it's powder, for some it's smoke
Everybody today is turning on

For some it's dust, for some it's booze
For some it's upburst to chase the blues
Everybody today is turning on

Time was when if a fella felt depressed
He simply got it off his chest
By calling on a preacher, talking to his teacher
Coughing up a half a buck to see a double feature

But now it's pills, and now it's pot
And now it's poppers, and God knows what
Sniff, swig, puff, and your cares are gone
Everybody today is turning on

The simple life it must have been
When smoke was lucky's and high was gin
One pink lady and how it turned them on

When junk was trash and speed was swift
And glue was pasted instead of sniffed
Coke and aspirin, and wow, it turned them on

Those days when ever folks were feeling low
They knew that they could get a glow
And chase away the vapors, laughing at the capers
Hands were first for pulling in the Sunday funny papers

But now it's- and down it goes
Around your windpipe and up your nose
Sniff, swig, puff, and your cares are gone
Everybody today is turning on

Hey, remember when high was up and kicks were tame
And Amyl Nitrate was some guy's name
Holding hands and smooching was turning on

Hash should fry, grass should clip
And off to grandma's was such a trip
Jiving to Eddie Duchin was turning on

Those days when if your nerves were kind of shot
Instead of going right to pot
You prayed to hold it steady, kept a Bible ready
Took advice from Rabbi Weiss or Mary Baker Eddy

But with a world so much amiss
How can a whiskey beat cannabis?
Sniff, swig, puff, and your cares are temporarily gone
Everybody today is turning

Right and left, those Georges are burning
Tax-free loots some push is earning
Kids know how not that is learning
Everybody today is turning on