Flash Bang Wallop - Live

If you'd like to get in line!
Let's do as 'e says, I want a proper photograph, as a memento
Ladies and gentlemen, please!

All lined up in a wedding group
Here we are for a photograph
All dressed up in a morning suit
And we're trying not to laugh
Since the early caveman in his fur
Took a trip to Gretna Green
There has always been a photographer
To record the happy scene
Hold it!

'Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
Click, what a picture, what a photograph
Poor old soul, blimey, what a joke
Hat blown off in a cloud of smoke
Clap hands, stamp yer feet
Bangin' on the big bass drum
What a picture, what a picture
Rum-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in the fam'ly album

Hold it! I need one more picture please!
Hold it! Now everyone say cheese!

Same thing happened long ago
When man was in his prime
And what went on we only know
From the snaps they took at the time
Like when Adam and Eve in their birthday suit
Decided to get wed
As Adam was about to taste the fruit
The man with the cam'ra said
Hold it!

'Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
Click, what a picture, what a photograph
Poor old Eve, there with nothing on
Face all red and 'er fig leaf gone
Clap hands, stamp yer feet
Bangin' on the big bass drum
What a picture, what a picture
Rum-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in the fam'ly album

Hold it! And lose the silly grin
Hold it! I can't quite fit you in

You've read it in the folio
Or seen the Shakespeare play
How Juliet fell for Romeo
In the merry month of May
As he tried to climb the orchard wall
To reach 'is lady fair
When he tumbled, she began to bawl
As he floated through the air
Hold it!
Air!
Not that kind of hold it!

'Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
What a picture, what a photograph
Poor young chap, what a night 'e spent
Tights all torn and 'is rapier bent
Clap hands, stamp yer feet
Bangin' on the big bass drum
What a picture, what apicture
Rum-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in the fam'ly album

Hold it! Lets give it one more bash!
Hold it! Now watch me as I flash

King Henry the Eighthf 'ad several wives
Including Anne Boleyn
He made an album of their lives
With all their photos in
As Anne Boleyn was on her knees
Dressed in 'er very best frock
King 'Enry shouted, "Smile, Dear, please"
As 'er 'ead rolled off the block
Hold it!

'Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
(Click) What a picture, what a photograph
Comes the print in a little while
Lost 'er 'ead, but she kept 'er smile
Clap hands, stamp yer feet
Bangin' on the big bass drum
What a picture, what a picture
Rum-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in the fam'ly album

Hold it! Its time the bride was kissed
Hold it! Oh dear, I think I'm-
Hold it!

When Napoleon married Josephine
There was just the same to-do
He galloped home from the battle scene
All the way from Waterloo
And as he came from off 'is 'orse
To the boudoir where she sat
She said to 'im, in French of course
As he took of his big cocked 'at

Shush!
'Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
Click, what a picture, what a photograph
There she was, with a big Hussar
All caught up in 'er ooh-la-la
Ooh-la-la!
Ooh-la-la
'Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
Click, what a picture, what a photograph
What a noise, though you don't compete
With the bang in the bridle suite
Boom boom
Clap hands, stamp yer feet
Clap hands, stamp yer feet
Clap hands, stamp yer feet (Clap hands)
Clap hands, stamp yer feet (Clap hands) Bangin' on the big bass drum
What a picture, what a picture,
What a picture, what a picture
What a picture, rum-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
What a picture, rum-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
What a picture, what a picture,
What a picture, what a picture
Rum-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in the fam'ly x3
Album x3
Stick it in the fam'ly album