Final Failure

I don't understand I've been feeling so tired
Why I've been down I know that's hard wired
In my brain no escape no hole in the wall
I'm the boy cried wolf no goal in my call

Can't smoke now it's a no-fly zone
Said I know better I don't know why though
Wanna be at home alone with no sense of hesitating
Wonder why I'm even rapping when I'm self deprecating

Taking this suboxone that's a form of the therapy
That I needed in my life there's no one else that I care to be
I'm the only one I'm needing when I make a decision
I got a picture of the way I wanted fuck a division

Life's been bleak walking on a thin piece
Of ice that I cracked and that's only this week
I don't foretell that I'll even survive
And to me I'm surprised that I'm breathing at night

This is my final failure
I need a hidden savior
Desperation has struck a nerve
This separation's what I deserve

No I don't recall I don't need recollection
Of all the shit I've ever done they can judge a complexion
But not the character apparent that you put on in public
You so unfavored by the mass and that's so hard to stomach

Got a bad habit I won't stick to commitment
I try to get around and break every drinking restriction
When they're searching and seizing they take my drug apparatus
I never cared about a label or reduction to status

I'm an outcast but I bet I'll outlast
Any shitty damn rapper seeking for a clout pass
Said the top's where you been at but I fucking doubt that
Dropped the mic on the stage when you made the crowd laugh

Shaped by the bad ain't shaped by the good
Stand up straight well I know that I should
But it ain't so convenient or easy or simple
I know by the time I'm gone they'll miss the signal

This is my final failure
I need a hidden savior
Desperation has struck a nerve
This separation's what I deserve