All a Gimmick

Thinkin bout them days when it was you and I
Since you left I've had multiple thoughts of suicide
I ain't gon lie, I cried about 4 times
But I'm keepin my head up, I got a strong mind
Fuck a co-sign, Ima get there by myself
I'm on my own time, Ion need nobody help

Maybe I do... Cuz them some words that I thought that I was gonna say to you, yeah...

Forever thought that it was you and I...
I fell victim to being the fool a few times

But I realized it was all a gimmick
Like how you gonna go and start sum you can't finish
And it's nothin that could help me, no replenish
I keep saying I just need time, one more minute
I keep writing all these love songs, keep on spillin my heart
Thinkin you would hear it, maybe then you'd get it

But I realized I'm alone for real
I need new way to cope, I might start poppin pills
Maybe...
Just maybe, I would like the thrill
Cuz just to hold you in my arms again, I would kill

And it's no one that could understand
I'm tryna pull my life together like a poker hand
And I'd do anything, except for getting hurt again
Or getting lied to, and get left in the dirt again
Because before there was love, you were my only friend
And that's sum I would vouch to until the end
You broke all the rules to love, that's sum you can't bend
It's been two years and I'm still learning how to love again

And I've realized that I'm lost
I realized that I give my heart, no matter that cost
I've realized that even when I'm hurt
I cling onto toxic things, when I know that they won't work

But I realized it was all a gimmick
Like how you gonna go and start sum you can't finish
And it's nothin that could help me, no replenish
I keep saying I just need time, one more minute
I keep writing all these love songs, keep on spillin my heart
Thinkin you would hear it, maybe then you'd get it