Rust

How do I explain or even articulate
That every day that I'm awake is a day I fade away?
Place chicken scratch to paper as I scratch inside my temples
For any hatch that resembles my simple solipsistic question

So here I stand, a hollow man
A broken piece of God's great plan

So I get out of my head and I meet up with my friends
They say, "Hey dude, we missed you, where have you been?"
But I've been bleeding, I've been bleeding from all these senseless self beatings
And they scream, "Please believe it, you are needed, you are needed!"

But when will I know it? That I am not that piece of shit?
That people look at and they wince and throw up a little bit
I am so cold (but they hold me in a way
That makes the pain go away
But I've been slowly building up my sense of self from dust
I once was just a husk, rust covered in rust, covered in rust, covered in rust

In reality, my sanity is hanging by a thread
But if I became balanced, would my street cred be in shreds?
When my identity is entirely the maniac you see, if I became healthy would I stop being me?

In reality, my sanity is hanging by a thread (slowly building up)
But if I became balanced, would my street creds be in shreds? (My sense of self from dust)
When my identity is entirely the maniac you see (I once was just a husk)
If I became healthy, would I stop being me? (Rust covered in rust, covered in rust, covered in rust)

Slowly building up my sense of self from dust
I once was just a husk
Rust covered in rust, covered in rust, covered in rust
Well, here I stand (here I)
A mouth full of sand (why do I keep eating sand?)
Please, could you hold my hand?
Stop me eating the sand, stop me feeling so goddamn bad