Eve of the Son

Last breath. I close my eyes
As fear depicts the framework of this alternate design
Where thoughts and hopes descend like rain

Mothers love for you
Was fathers mournful hope
"He'll be the man I know he could"
Such disapproval
"He is no son of mine"

Time became unequal. As the memories start to fade
A dream could last forever. As if dreams were to remain

Lay upon my pillow. Close my eyes; escape the world
I reach over beside me. Just to realize i'm alone
In thought I will escape. Please end this misery
For every righteous deed I've done. Forlorn is my belief

And how I've walked with demons. As they sang sweet lullaby's
Reach into your weakness. Formless angels in disguise

I cry out ashamed. "My God. My God please help me so"
"My sins are not forgiven. And I fear they'll never let me go"

Is the story over? Have you left me to bleed?
Is timelessness just a false sense relief
Was such grand delusions a numbness of pain?
Can you ever look in the mirror again?

The closer that I get I still hold on
I'll whither. Fall apart
A shadow casts on me. How far can I reach?
Mother is there such a thing as destiny?
Or changing of seasons?
Behold your child's weakness
Has God forsaken me?

As chapter unfolds chapters
Where I carried on all my dreams brought me pain
A moment of conscience. A memory. A thought
A man left defined by the sins of his heart
Is broken before ever broken again?
Is lost innocence just a means to end?
Can I ask forgiveness for what I've become?
A memory i'll no longer be. No longer be
Anymore

"Thank You. Thank you God"
"There is no talk of God here priest"
"And what of the inscription?"
"It's faded. Just as God's faded from my heart"
"And what has replaced it?"
"Revenge"

As chapter unfolds chapters
I will carry on. I won't be forgot
A moment of conscience. A memory. A thought
I'll rewrite the story from finish to start

Though broken before I shall be just as one
My name will transcend from my elders to sons
Can I ask forgiveness for what I've become"
A memory i'll no longer be. No longer be
Anymore

"Angel
Never thinking of tomorrow. Lost in yesterdays
Fall as though unending

My angel
How could you leave me here with all my hopes to fade?
God it's never ending

Oh angel
Ever more I bleed as though like timeless sand
Falling through your fingers

Oh angel
Seek unto the never as I bid thee well
My angels gone"