Solo

Ayo
Life can treat us all so cold
But if you really think I'm the exception
Then you really don't know

I think it's obvious, I'm not really a people person
And animals as well, the opposite of Stephen Irwin
You think when I'm offstage, I party every weekend
Actually I'm only with myself instead and weepin'
I see on Snapchat my friends have me uninvited
So I gotta make plans, you think I fucking like this
And when I seem 'em, it feels off, brewing trusting issues
Think they've been using me, I feel like such a big fool
'Cause afterwards when I go home I just feel low
There's no point of pretending friends when they're the real foe
To get in sync with a new group takes more than adjusting
I hate the fact that you have to be normal or nothing
Overall, my list of problems just grows
Meanwhile my best friend is out on the opposite coast
What am I gonna do about this, shit, I don't know
Like a Clint Eastwood outlaw, tonight I ride solo

When the curtains close
I just feel solo
No one knows
'Cause no one cares
As the world turns slow
It just feels so cold
No one knows
'Cause no one's there

You think 'cause people know me then I'm viewed on a pedestal
But really they talk down to me, I feel so pressured though
They don't take you seriously when you're fat and 5'7"
And in defense, I just have my tongue as my weapon
But why can't I drop this weight as much as I drop rhymes
That's why I refuse to smile because I'm not fine
I wanna punch this mirror, I hate my own reflection
I look like shit and on the inside I have no connection
I stay reclusive so that I could just avoid my problems
Because I can get as paranoid as Pac was
So sometimes I don't even leave the house for days
And when I step outside, I just walk out in shame
I'm so fucking lazy with the time I have I'm wastin'
I procrastinate on my own procrastinations
And nobody's picking up, I got no hope
That's why nobody even knows that I'm so low

When the curtains close
I just feel solo
No one knows
'Cause no one cares
As the world turns slow
It just feels so cold
No one knows
'Cause no one's there

You think I'm living that high life
You think everything is fine
But the truth is, I'm falling apart
From the pain that I'm holding inside
It's hard to survive in this cold world
When nobody's on your side
And all I am asking of you
Is to give me some of your time

I know that the world does not revolve around me
It's never good things when people talk about me
Especially the fake friends, I think they all just clown me
I'm a fucking mess, I don't say that often proudly
I stay unfiltered, but to a certain degree
'Cause there's been times where it does more hurting I see
'Cause you can't say what's on your mind consequence free
That's why I think my biggest problem is me
So over the years, I have built this guilt
You can say, "don't worry", but I feel this still
Can I change out of habit? I don't know
Don't need the spirits to know that I feel my soul low

When the curtains close
I just feel solo
No one knows
'Cause no one cares
As the world turns slow
It just feels so cold
No one knows
'Cause no one's there