Ten Years

This shit is a hell of a story
Heaven only knows how to be celebratory
How ironic if you're looking devilish for the excellent recognitions remembered in glory
I been reaching like I really ain't knowing my worth
Always been a late bloomer
So why the fuck am I preaching if I still hate going to church
All I hear is fake rumors when I share pain
Aint nobody grieving in a hopeless time
I wonder who the fuck is gonna spare change
I already experienced the homeless kind
Gotta break from the same tradition
Almost like plagiarism in a sacred system
Sprinkled with some favoritism
I hate to make a change of wisdom
But niggas aint shit so listen
I'm cool with the therapy stuff
But I'm sick and tired of people looking at me like I'm barely enough
Now you actin' like you holding your weight, me and my energy would go on a date
You still ain't carrying us, so what's the point of building trust?
And what's the point of making friends
If everything another human does reflect you when the love's neglectful
Mirror mirror with a fucking threshold
'What you're looking at?' Nothing special
Just another excuse to go and give a bludgeoned vessel and disrupt my mental
That's word to my cousin, worse than sleeping in the dungeon nestled
And they expect you to be walking tall and strong
But tell me how that sounds to you?
Maybe that's what everybody wanted all along
So lemme break it down for you
I'm only here for a limited time
One heart, jump start til the end of the line
And I pray nothing ever goes sideways
Cause even if I ate good, there's an infinite sign
We may never have a chance to build a cure, I ain't tryna go to war
Ain't nobody tryna fight fair
And I can't seem to figure if I'm more afraid to die
Or the fact that I'm still living in a nightmare, I'm scared
There's a lot of shit that needs to be done
Been taking a hard loss like it's easily won
I ain't even suicidal, I just need to kill the old me
I'm pretty sure I'm close to squeezing the gun and that's real
Cause if I lived it again, I would never even consider to pick up a pen
The only reason why I decided to stay alive is knowing that no one else would even try
And it took me Ten Years

Yeah, took me ten years just to get myself back
Took me ten years just to pat myself down on the back
Took me ten years just to stick it to the man
Who'd've thought I'd be that lil' skinny nigga with the plans
I'm just doing what I can
Ain't nothing to pretend, just a kid with mad talent
I ain't looking for a trend, fuck an Instagram challenge

What's an Instagram challenge anyways?