Hope

Yeah, I'm single
But that's because I ain't ready to mingle
I get this tingling feeling in my stomach every time I think of moving on
(Yeah)
Haven't seen you in two years
'Cause of all these stupid fears of how I probably couldn't look you in the eyes without shedding a tear
(Without shedding a tear?)
You were the love of my life
No, scratch that
You are the love of my life
(You are the love of my life)
I message other women as a defence mechanism to try and cover up the fact that the life I'm living without you is like a prison
I can't get out
No matter how loud I scream
Nobody can hear me
My anxiety is through the roof
I'm starting to lose my sense of integrity
(Losing my integrity)
I could lie and say that it isn't affecting me
But the shit that you said to me makes me think that maybe there's hope
At least that's how I cope
I know you don't wanna hurt me but that's a fucking cop-out!
(It's a cop-out)
If you don't want me then just say that if that's how you feel

I just hope if you laying next to somebody
He's loving you better than I can
I hope you found your perfect man
'Cause obviously that wasn't me
I just hope that he makes you smile
Just like I used to
I hope that he's true
Like I should have been to you

Oh, I know it's late
But I had some things to say
I know we ain't the same as we used to be
But I know or at least hope that you'll see
That the me that I've been ain't the same as I was when I was 18
I've done a lot of growing up
And so have you
At least that's what I hear from mutual friends
Yeah, I ask about you
Because I care about you
Even though you hurt me deep I thank the universe that I found you
We'll never be together and I've come to terms with that now
Doesn't make it hurt any less
I gotta calm my ass down
Pour some Fireball Whiskey and just sit the fuck on the couch
Shit sounds fucking depressing when I say it out loud
Start writing a song and it comes back to you somehow
Most of my last album was about you
It's the only thing I'd allow my heart to speak out loud
(It's the only thing I'd allow my heart to speak out loud)
I hope that if you found someone new, they make you happy
I hope they make up for the things I was lacking
My back is against the wall
Ain't no way I can't look tacky
Still in love with my high school sweetheart but she wouldn't even @ me
It ain't your fault but it's not mine either
If you're gonna let me down just pull the fucking lever
I can stop living in hope that I might see you
Stop writing lyrics in my phone hoping one day you'll hear it
I can stop singing about you hoping one day you'll feel it
And that's real shit
That's real shit

I just hope if you laying next to somebody
He's loving you better than I can
I hope you found your perfect man
'Cause obviously that wasn't me
I just hope that he makes you smile
Just like I used to
I hope that he's true
Like I should have been to you