Free

I've spent too much of my time trying to prove myself to those who would never acknowledge nor try to understand me
I'm wasted days where I could've felt the sun touch my skin
In bed reminiscing on things I can no longer change
I no longer wish to turn back time
Or rekindle things that were better left untouched
I hold all power in me to change what I need
To embrace love and feel acceptance of my reflection
I've spent an entire decade begging for the love I didn't give myself
Wishing one day someone would tell me that I am great

I used to be consumed with the idea that the memories in my head
Replayed from a higher being a god, or maybe the universe
To try to make me remember for a reason
That I was forcibly tied to something or someone merrily because it had happened and if I lost that memory I would lose who I was in that moment
Not realizing I had already lost that version of me the very next day
When I realized nostalgia was simply attaching myself and these moments to my identity I was able to let them go
Somewhere along the lines I knew everything I needed was within me
Flashbacks no longer weighed down
Old pictures of hurt no longer controled me
Simply because I had forgotton
I've forgotten that feeling of someone or something else controlling how I felt
I reclaim my emotions
And my time
I am free