Captain James

His name was Captain James
He was a handsome cowboy from space
Bounty-hunting space demons was the name of his game
And his adventures had brought him money and fame
But there was one space demon that he could never track

His name was Space Demon Roy
He peddled space heroin
He was covered in space tattoos
He had two heads on his shoulder
And it's said that he couldn't
Have been any older than 22

Captain James got a lead
From a space hooker named Eileen
They had a space arrangement Space X for space information
In the regular space meeting that occurs every Space Tuesday
That Roy the Space Demon was living on a big purple planet
Just outside a galaxy that I cannot name here

So Captain James left the space brothel
And he left the door swinging
He loaded his space gun
He put on his space helmet
And then he strapped to his space car
He was certain that Roy would be no longer with us
By late tomorrow night

He rolled into a galaxy light years away
There were planets real close
He aimed the nose of his ship
At the purple planet
It was said that Roy lived
When he landed by Luke Hopkins
Out of fear, he swung into him

There was a house on a cul-de-sac
At the end of the space suburbs
The yard was well-kept
And sprinklers were on
Captain James double-checked coordinates on his space watch
And as the sun sank like cherries melting on a star
Captain James cautiously crept in through the back door

And he heard the TV on
As he crept through the tiled kitchen
And he looked through the door frame
There Roy was cuddled up
Next to a beautiful young human girl under a blanket
And as the screen hit their faces
Captain James had never seen
Two people so content to be sitting together

And then Captain James remembered
This was the evil demon he was after
So he entered the room and he drew his weapon
The two turned their heads
And jumped back like little spiders
And he told the young girl to move
So that he could put an end to the space heroin epidemic
That plagued all the galaxies
But she did not listen
Just held him tightly in her arms

And with tears coming out of her eyes
She spoke with tremors in her voice"He doesn't peddle space heroin
He peddles space acid
Either way, can't you see he's a beautiful person"
James said"Don't let him put his demon spells on your mind
Cause it's young and there's things you don't know
Now if you don't move I'll have to shoot you both
For I chased this demon for years in my life"

But her rosy face didn't flinch
She just held tighter onto him
So Captain James cocked his space gun
And he held it up
Said"I'll give you one more chance
To stand up and leave"

But she showed no sign of any second thoughts
So James aimed his gun
At both of their hearts
And blood trickled down
The back of the couch
And they both laid back dead
Like two little mice
Keeping each other warm
The first chilling air of autumn
After summer flees

Captain James rolled into a space diner
And he ordered space coffee and pancakes
He lit up his space cigarette
And he read the space paper
And he just held the ring that he took
From the space demon's finger
He's spacin' out
He's spacin' out
He's spacin' out

He's spacin' out
He's spacin' out
He's spacin' out