Farewell Wanderlust

"You look like I need a drink," he winked
As he slipped from my grasp to the bar, "And you are?"
He said, "Me?" (me), "Little me?" (little me)
He called (he called) from the brink of the day (from the brink of the day)
He said, "Hey, darling, hey, hey, darling, hey
I'm the hardest goodbye that you'll ever have to say"

You don't know it yet, but I'm the cupid of things
That you just didn't get, that you struggled to say
I'm the saint of the paint that was left in the pot
I'm your angel ellipsis, your devil of dots

Every time that you fumble, I'm the laugh from the back
When you think about him, my wings start to flap
When you make a mistake, my feet lift from the floor
And when you lie there awake every night, love, I soar

I promise you I'll be better
I promise you I'll try
But like rubbing wine stains into rugs, it's my curse
To try and make it right, but by trying make it worse

I'm the heartbreak that aches far too much to be shunned
All those letters unsent and that garden ungrown
I'm the captain of courage that you've eternally lacked
I'm the Jesus of wishing to Christ he'll come back

Because farewell wanderlust, you've been, oh, so kind
You brought me to this party, but you left me here behind
So long to the person you begged me to be
She's down, she's dead
Instead what is left but this old satin dress
And the mess that you left
When you told me that I wasn't right in the head

"You alright?," asked the boys from beyond
You gave us such a fright
We'd hate to see your mascara drip into your pint
Might you allow me to slip into something more comfortable then?
Be our guest
With a hoik of her bra, she waved to the bar, and slipped into the night

"Come, devil, come," she sang, "Call out my name"
Let's take this outside, 'cause we're one and the same
Our gods have abandoned us, left us instead
Take up arms, take my hand, let us waltz for the dead

I'm the face that stares back when the screen goes to black
When your mom says you look healthy
But you know she means you got fat
I'm the tales that the guests will applaud and believe
I'm the child that you just didn't have time to conceive

I promise you I'm not broken, I promise you there's more
More to come, more to reach for, more to hurl at the door
Goodbye to all my darkness, there's nothing here but light
Adieu to all the faceless things that sleep with me at night
This here is not makeup, it's a porcelain tomb
And this here is not singing, I'm just screaming in tune

Because farewell wanderlust, you've been ever so kind
You brought me through this darkness, but you left me here behind
And so long to the person you begged me to be
He's down, he's dead
Now take a good long look at what you've done to me

He's down, he's dead
He's gone, oh, he's lost
He's flown, he's fled
Now take a good long look at what you've all done to me