Welcome

On the TV, someone's running
As the helicopter cam zooms in
And they superimpose green arrows
Google Earth it to the head of a pin
She says "There behind the police tape
"Seen it all with my eyes and ears
"I was talking to my friend Charlie
"And then Charlie disappeared"

Welcome, Welcome
Come and have some fun
We got every Chinese toy under the sun
And every Ponzi scheme
That ever has been run
And old men with hard-ons
And madmen with guns

And I heard you made some threats against me and my family
And I got a gun from a kindly neighbor lady
And I made it known that one step in the wrong direction
I'll shoot you in the back with no hesitation

Welcome, Welcome
Come and have some fun
We got every Chinese toy under the sun
And every Ponzi scheme
That ever has been run
And old men with hard-ons
And madmen with guns

And who's doing who
And where's the fire
And who do you think is juicin
And the rats and the zombies and the alien pigs
Which field should we turn you loose in
Monkeys in captivity
Ikea in the Amazon
What's in your wallet
And which side are you on

Can anyone still stand up
Or are we all just too ground down
Tryin' to make it through the day without your ass
Gettin' handed back to you in town
Sitting on the freeways and the buses and the trains
Praying you can get the kids inside before it rains

Welcome, Welcome
Come and have some fun
We got every Chinese toy under the sun
And every Ponzi scheme
That ever has been run
And old men with hard-ons
And madmen with guns

Stadiums, palladiums
Prisons second to none
And old men with hard-ons
And madmen with guns