Ashes

What if it's a lie
Every word I write in my songs
Maybe admitting I'm wrong
Is the first step to righting my wrongs
Always fighting my own battles
What if they were right all along

All I ever wanted was for you to be proud of me
You were just looking out for me, I took it as doubting me
But the voice, in the back, of my head, is growing louder, it's be
Ginning to shout at me

Now
How do I face this shit
All my relationships
That get swept to the side so I can chase this shit
I'm losing faith in
All that I've created, just
Have been afraid to admit that I'm afraid to miss
Might wanna switch, spend my life on the day shift, becoming complacent
And let my paychecks, go to war with my patience
And I don't know how you'll take this
never thought I would say this
But today I just may quit
I might quit

I'm struggling cause I want it so bad
The thought of giving it up, is driving me fucking mad
And it's challenging, while I'm balancing all of that
And the calendar spinning out of control, and out of my grasp
A paradox, and I'm in a bout with my past
Another night being haunted by all the doubt in my path
My train of thought has derailed, it's headed offa the tracks
But I'm never quitting, until the coffin is latched

We suffer in silence, our voice will fade
We wait for our time, then we runaway
Alone we have fallen, alone we have fallen

The next Michelangelo doesn't believe he's anything special
The next Shakespeare never picked up a fucking pencil
What if Da Vinci thought that he, couldn't be influential
All the wasted potential
Kinda fucks with your mental

When I was young, my mama knew it all
And she told me I could do it all
She told me I'd become the star I was conceived to be
Nowadays, she's the only one who believes in me
Or so it seems
Boulevard of broken dreams
Hopes leaking through open seams
Stitches to try and slow the stream
Just poetry and reams
Distant memories
All the Goals that became reveries
promises to myself that I'll forever keep
They call us dreamers but we never sleep

Until the wheels fall off
Until I'm ashes
Until I'm but a pile of bones, laid in a casket
I've had my ass kicked
But I was asking, for it
Maybe I got what I wished for
But in order to bask in glory
You gotta suffer
I was gasping
And now I'm smothered
It almost killed me, but now I'm tougher
I found the real me, and I'm a stubborn
One, won't sacrifice my dreams for comfort

I see it differently, people wonder why
I lost my brother, he was twenty-five
It's a funny life
Tomorrow isn't promised so today
I'm gonna try
It comes to mind
Every time I see a butterfly
A smile can hide so much
Sometimes I wanna cry
It's just another lie
Then I remember why
I'm here
In order to truly, feel alive
You gotta know what it feels like, to wanna die

I'm struggling cause I want it so bad
The thought of giving it up, is driving me fucking mad
And it's challenging, while I'm balancing all of that
And the calendar spinning out of control, and out of my grasp
A paradox, and I'm in a bout with my past
Another night being haunted by all the doubt in my path
My train of thought has derailed, it's headed offa the tracks
But I'm never quitting, until the coffin is latched

We suffer in silence, our voice will fade
We wait for our time, then we runaway
Alone we have fallen, alone we have fallen