I Haven't Slept In Four Years

I haven't slept in four years
Not the way I used to
'Cause I've been in love for four years
With a man who probably used to
And I have spent these four years
On a seesaw between "stay" and "leave"
I had no choice physically
But mentally in a fantasy

I've been in love for four years
And he never called me back
I thought maybe by this year
I'd be on a different track
But his name's behind the music
I've been writing ever since
And his memory never slips
So I'm convinced

He's slept away the four years
Dreaming of a girl
Was it one, or two or three?
Did they all have pretty curls?
I just know it's not me
'Cause if it was, I'm sure
He would tell me he was wrong
And things could go back to how they were

So I've been awake for four years
Just waiting for the day
He hears the songs with all ears
And all I have to say
I wish I cried just four tears
But I know that is a lie
I cried two million and five
I never really said goodbye

Da da
Da da da
Da da
Da da da
Da da
Da da da
Da da
Da da da
Da da
Da da da
Da da
Da da da

I haven't slept in four years
And of course I blame myself
I could have spent those four years
Finding love in someone else
But all I found was more tears
And excuses to hate myself
And sex along with wealth
To fill the hole inside myself

My heart is on the shelf
Until you come back to me
My heart is on the shelf
Until you come back to me
My heart is on the shelf
Until you come back to me
My heart is on the shelf
Until you come back to me