Chains

I was always scared of you
I had fear for you
Never felt prepared for you
It's fucked up
You treated me like shit
And through it all I still fuckin' cared for you
Nigga and I was there for you
You broke up with your Mrs I was there
Full heartly invited you over and had a beer with you
Sat you down and I gave you my time
Advice was shared like tears nigga I was all ears for you
You were cold I had warm hoody spare for you
I loaned you money like nigga I'm here for you
You seen the love cause I clearly made it clear for you
So why the fuck you never here when I was there for you

I bet you said the same shit to Koro
And as his moko
I felt it run deep in my toto
See
The pain in our lineage is deep
Kei roto I toku whanau
From today to apopo

It was suppose to be you that cleansed our blood
You got giving everything for your sense of love
When that old lady in the wheelchair
Cried after hearing your name
She seen a son that was bearing the pain
You said it yourself
It all stops at me
But it should of stopped way before it got to me
In our blood there's potential for leaders rise
Above years of abuse and believing in lies
You know its true
We see a little bit of the light
And think we know the whole truth and that we've figured out life
We got riddles and audaciously giving advice
About the same struggles we have hidden inside
I always wondered as a kid what it was like to be you
Why you had me tippy-toeing 'round your every move
The day you jabbed me in the face was the day that I swallowed the rage
Became exposed to your bottled up pain

I was a young kind hearted kid my nigga
You chin checked me inside our own crib my nigga
I've moved on cause I've learnt how to forgive my nigga
But sometimes I look back
Like you ain't listening nigga
I'm nearly 30 years old in your history my nigga
And it's black and white for y'all to see what missing my nigga
I know you probably feel as though I'm just tripping my nigga
But you cant father my figure because I'm different my nigga
I been in the field keeping it real
Father myself
I ain't alone
I got brothas with me asking for help
Yeah you know of me but you don't know the darkness I've felt
In the same father figure from the cards that I'm dealt
I'm fucked off dam right and I'm venting the steam
Algood with it is something I ain't pretending to be
See I'm a man now I stand on my two feet

This ain't a heart to heart
This is the respect of a g

When I think about you this the perspective I see
Until you start to show effort to reconnecting with me
This the attitude that you'll get from me
This the love you gave and now you get it back from me
Yeah we family and in a way yeah I still care
But think about it your lucky that I'm still here
I tried kill myself many times and never had a father around
To talk about it
So you never understood how I felt
It was just another halfway house
To let the cycle continue through this blood of ours
I refuse to believe that imma carry it on
No doubt
That's why I'm getting it out
Of myself

This ain't a heart to heart this is the respect of a g
I love you more as friend than a father to me
My two sons grew well from the affection I give
Maybe that's enough for you to see the father in me

This ain't a heart to heart this is the respect of a g
I love you more as friend than a father to me
My two sons grew well from the affection I give
Maybe that's enough for you to see the father in me
Conscious