fooling myself

I wake up to a cold empty bed
I untangle my hair and unscramble my head
You can't have gone far, but I don't see your car
I'm suddenly saturated with dread

There's a note on the counter by the sink
Scrawled and scribbled on a postcard in still-drying ink
My worst fears have come true; I'm not good enough for you
I wish I could forget how to think

How could you do this to me
How could I ever believe
How could I be so naive
I was fooling myself, wasn't I, wasn't I
Fooling myself, wasn't I
Fooling myself, wasn't I
Fooling myself

Has this always been inevitable
You just needed someone, but I needed you
Every time you lashed out, I wanted to shout
But I refused to become like you too

Every time that I look in the mirror
I can almost imagine that you're still here
You've seeped into my laugh, you'll be my epitaph
Long after I disappear

How could you do this to me
How could I ever believe
How could I be so naive
I was fooling myself, wasn't I, wasn't I
Fooling myself, wasn't I
Fooling myself, wasn't I
Fooling myself

When I said
You were my best friend
I take a deep breath, and I cry, and I realize
And I let this end

I throw the postcard away
If you won't, then why should that old paper stay
Although I'm not proud
Of the thunder and clouds
I just know there is blue past the gray