Home (Monologue)

Who are you seeing right now?
He asks just us over dinner with two seperate checks,
I almost dared to make a joke about him beeing jealous,
But it would hit to close to home.
,,The model?",,,He couldn't have been any ruder!"
,,The boxer?",,,Couldn't get away from him sooner"
,,Then who do you have your heart set on?"
I swear I saw glimmer of hope.
And for a split second I let my mouth hang open
As he laughed at his own gentle joke
And then a flash to my mind came all of the times
Where he laughed so hard, there were tears in our eyes.
And since I've seen your biggest smile I haven't been the same.
And you always call me sunshine and never by my name.
And I'm your biggest fan and I just want you to succeed
And I want you to be happy, I just want it to be with me.
And I snap back to reality and see a guy I met on a plane
Nothing to attainable that could get in his way
And we kind of move on from that,
but the vibe is just not quite the same
He starts to tell me a funny joke, that I can't really hear
Cause I can't focus when his smile streches perfect from ear to ear.
And I stare into his eyes,
the colour of neom gemstones or butterflywings
Or the blue on each side of the rainbow.
I know what you're thinking:,, Peach,
god dammit! Just tell him how you feel!"
The thing is, I did, like three months ago when he still had a girl.
So now we often hang out in groups of Friends and seldomly alone,
so I have no opportunity to look in his eyes
And tell him he feels like
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