Self Deprication

And everybody's been laughing at me
Saying I'm such a tragedy
Okay maybe that's just me
But I can't help but not to believe
The paranoias been getting to me
But I won't say anything
These constant headaches they remain
They'll take a piece of me every day

Well it's the
Self-destructive bullshit that I put myself through
Romanticizing the misery
It's the suffering that I pursue
I just stare in the mirror and I can't help but tell myself lies
and it's getting old
And I'm so damn sick of it

Day to day it's so hard to just claim that I'm gonna be okay
I watch the blue in my eyes fade
My deceptive smile will bury the pain
So I'll repeat the lines that run through my head
It's the same shit every day
The words they'll never change
It's what I'll say
To keep my brain functioning.

Well it's the
Self-destructive bullshit that I put myself through.
Romanticizing the misery, It's the suffering that I pursue
I just stare in the mirror and I can't help but tell myself lies
And it's getting old
And I'm so damn sick of it

Can anybody tell me why I continue to see
The worst inside of me
This isn't who I was supposed to be
A self-loathing cynical fool at a loss of what to do
Oh how the wrongs in my life bleed through
This addicting ruse
I could not delude
Well there's just no truth
To what I've tried to argue

So here's the
Self-destructive bullshit I can't put myself through
Romanticizing the misery what a fucked up thing to do
I've stared in the mirror and it's so hard to rectify
But I'm standing tall
Because I've gotta get through this
This isn't where I belong
And I can't keep doing this