Crosby Street Hotel

Driving over Manhattan Bridge, comin' in from JFK
Crossing the Bowery & Little Italy, for a 10-day-stay
I'm supposed to meet a friend in Mercer Street
An art-dealer from that gallery on West 21st
He don't show up, this frustrates me
I wanted to buy me a Damien Hirst

Uptown is no place to stay, I'm southward bound
Murray Hill scares me away, SoHo is my ground
No LES & no Kitchen in Hell
All I need is the key to the 503 at the Crosby Street Hotel

Front-desk lady smiles at me,"Sorry Sir, can't find your name
Could we see your confirmation? No? Well, that's a shame
'Cause I can't find your reservation"
"Oh, come on" I shout, "It's always the same
I'm not changing the location"
And the Concierge says I'm to blame

Downtown is the place to stay, I'll stick around
Up there in the west 80's, I'm nowhere to be found
Mr Concierge, you are so wrong, and you force me to say
"A hotel will not last long, with all of its guests away"

The bridge? That's enough

Not about to retreat, try my best to be sweet
"Even though the price is not low, what about the junior-suite"
"No can do, Sir, why don't you stay at our sister
Hotel on 5th & 58th Street"
Oh man, this is such a cheat. I start sweating in the heat
"So what's your decision, mister"
"Well, I guess I'm off 'cause I don't approve this misdemeanor"

Upper East's too far away, or even the Central Park pound
Try to catch the "6 Train" but I'm losing ground
Hail a cab with a German driver, tell him "please drive schnell"
But the boxes are blocked and traffic is hell
So I tell him to head back to the Crosby Street Hotel
Hell, hell, hell, hell.

I sneak back in and I try to hide in the hotel's movie theater
But the front-desk lady tracks me down all my hope has died, how much I hate her
She says: "Where's your pride? What's the matter
You've gone too far, this is no manner
Now security will have to throw you out, Sir"
They treat me as if I was the worst sinner

Cast-iron houses make me feel safe & sound, don't try to chase me off
I'll stand my ground 'cause SoHo makes me tough
NoHo, Tribeca & Chinatown only repel, I've had enough
Seems like I'm stuck & there's a spell
When it comes to the Crosby Street Hotel