The Frozen Present

I rebel against your every conviction.

You are a sinister handed zeitgeist
Hiding in a blood-pencil or a spatula
Or a broken shoelace. You are the
Shadow of an unattractive tree trunk
Shimmering in the sunlight of now
And always

Reminding me of who I am by bench
Spilling over with inebriated human
Leftovers. I walk with my head down
In rough surroundings after making
Dionysian-erotic-soul-unifying-forsaken-
-Unforsaken-death-rattle-love

Her scent all over me and the audio
That emits
From her body reverberating and
Rattling like a executive toy,

(As i die in the detail of her outline,
And Narcissus rolls the boulder back
Up, yet again)

I could cure you, you know?
But that's not my role I'll just pretend
I Don't even know you're watching me
All the time.

I saw you yesterday in the
Brim of Eoin's phone call, in the
Silhouette of his voice. You were there
When he asked me, you were there
When after I put the phone down
I lost control of my only resistance
Against you.

We both laughed me
And you, together 'cause we knew
This was just a beautiful glitch in
The game.

Every time I look in the mirror that's
You looking back at me, all through
My life, every mirror of my time,
That's you.

(There was a time when you
Were nowhere to be seen I
Think I was eight and I noticed
There was someone missing
From the party as we played musical chairs)

I'd love to call you up someday.
You know? ask you to sink a
Few beers with me, you and
Me like old nemesis; a football
Game in the middle of a war.

(I lamented your absence, even
As a child.
Did I need you to complete me?
And once I gave birth to the lie;
The final completing piece of my
Definition,
I lamented my own existence)

I could cure you, you know?
But that's not my role.

(I'm talking to myself again)