Hold My Tongue

Hold me down another day or two
I could never stay angry
Not at you
Because I suppose I kind of asked you to
But that was a different me and a different you

And now I swear I've changed
I'm all grown up
Wanna see what I'd achieve if I ever gave a fuck
About myself
Or anything at all
Instead of slowly dying inside these four walls

Cause truth is I'm scared
Always was
Always figured fame would come knocking at my door
Like 'Hey man, time to shine, let's go'
But that's not how life is
Trust me I know

The only person at my door was my dealer
Like 'Hey man, here's a line, nice one bro'
As he swaggered back to his flat with a wad of cash
And the knowledge I'd call again tomorrow

But I broke that cycle
Turned that page
Took a couple years
Now I'm going straight
Still hate myself
I'm still filled with rage
But at least I'm not up on the roof again

Playing which is stronger?
Gravity or a pointless sense of self-preservation?
Which one do I prefer?
Death or Nathan?
Head or tails?
Looks like I'm staying

So here I am
Guess I made it worse
Now I've no excuse
I've gotta prove my worth
To myself and everybody else
So that's what I'm gonna do
Come hell on earth

And baptise me
In the holy fires of a god that I do not believe in
Must've heard my prayers
And taken notice for some non-existent reason

It's the believing that I've always struggled with
Fuck you God
I don't need your help
I am my own saviour and I'll say it again
I will see you all in hell

Tomorrow morning
When we all wake up
And realise we were here all along
So welcome to Earth
The planet of dirt
Where us mud men
We all belong

It's off to work
Time to kill
Find a friend
Netflix and chill
That special human
That's the one
I've found my soul mate
Love's begun

But not for me
I won't allow it
I'm all alone
It's a superpower
Yeah Mr Stable
That's my name
Play by the rules and you've lost the game

But I guess I got off track again
Do excuse me, it's a bad habit
I can never seem to ever stop myself
From opening up and just rambling
Expose my inner gears wrapped in my fears
Wow that's a lot of damage
I would say I'm broken
But I can get a little bit weird every now and then

So there you all go
There's a story about me
Guess you all know me really well now
About as well as I know myself
Never been a fan of therapy

But I think this helps
Who could say
It's not my turn
Not today
I'm sure you've hung on every word
But I think we'd agree
You've heard enough

Hold my tongue
Hold my tongue
Need to learn to hold my tongue
Yeah
Why can't I just hold my tongue?
Why can't I just hold my tongue?
Hold my tongue
Yeah