Augmented

Panic has descended on our petty little lives
Mothers brothers and husbands and their pretty little wives
Hear their cry as their white throne is occupied by a tyrant
His wily hands extending from the mainland to the islands

And his plan is violent
He and his cronies hatched a wicked scheme
Sicker than addiction and more pernicious than nicotine
The gist being mass suppression of one half of the nation's population
And their ability to live their dreams

Attack our sanctuaries, where we have control
Our temples ravaged, no one knows who'll be the last to go
It's apropos that instead of having us go and die
They'd rather desecrate us so they're forcing us to multiply

Well not I, I'm a step ahead of everyone
I call upon a local expert just to get it done
A secret procedure, a physical addition
That may grant me superpowers that will free me from the system

Augmented, a mechanical upgrade
Pause a vital function push it back into someday
Hack into your circuitry a gadget that's invisible
After it's attached, baby, that's when you're invincible

I step into a cavern with its walls white and blue
I check in with the guard who tells me what to do
Leads me to another room where contraptions are strapped upon me
By maidens in cloaks, gauging the different ghosts in my body

I take a seat, the door opens and there before me
In glowing white is the holy master of ceremonies
She's old and wise, eyes enveloped in mystery
She asks a couple questions bout my sexual history

I answer truthfully and say I've never been with child,
And with a smile she says 'you may be in pain for a while'
Though I'll inject you with a serum that lightens the strain,
It won't prevent you from the initial pierce of the lidocaine

And in a deft motion metal prongs tear me open
Hold me open in between my legs as she injects the potion
No commotion from me as I'm soaking up the juices
From the inside, in time, I will be a superhuman

Staring at the ceiling waiting for the coup de grace
I can't see a thing but I can hear the master move across
The room to grab the weapon, the agent of activation
The very thing that will make me a patient of augmentation

And then a wave of immense pain is forced upon me
My muscles straining to reject the foreign body
Seconds of utter agony as the gadget releases
I feel my viscera spasm, it's battling with the beast and

The pain is seemingly ceaseless, I'm anguished for minutes after
But quick as it came upon me it vanishes even faster
I thank the master and leave with omnipotence in my guts
Now I can finally I U Deez Nuts

(Don't ask what that means
No one knows what it means but it's provocative
Gets the people going, ok?)

Now I can finally I U Deez Nuts
Now I can finally I U Deez Nuts
Now I can finally I U Deez Nuts
Now I can finally I U Deez Nuts