Growing Pains

I've been thinking about you a lot
The way I learned to brush your hair
The way I kissed you everywhere
The way your hand fit into mine
The way we lost so much time

I've been dreaming about you a lot
The way I learned to read your face
The way the cake I baked you tasted
The way you'd always gaze at me
The way you'd cry when I'd leave

I've been thinking about you a lot
I've been dreaming about you a lot
I've been crying about you a lot

I've been thinking about it a lot
In how my body'd fill with birds
In how I'd lose all my words
In how my hands would shake in yours
In how my nervousness would soar

I've been seeing through it a lot
In how I'd never get to speak
In how I'd choke to keep the peace
In how I 'couldn't take a joke'
In how I lost to the smoke

I've been thinking about it a lot
I've been dreaming about it a lot
I've been crying about it a lot

Nostalgia's a liar – nostalgia's a thief
Twisting sad memories into happy stories

I left you for a long time, but you left me first
Texts left on delivered and voicemails going unheard

You said that you loved me but did you truly know me?
Did you truly see me?
Or did you merely want me?

I've been thinking about it a lot
Dreaming about it a lot
Praying about you a lot

But that's about where it stopped
I've stopped
Thinking about you a lot
Crying about you a lot
Yearning for you a lot