Fading Away

I feel like I've been gone for a long time
My body's present but I cannot find my mind
I used to love feeling everything inside
But I'm afraid the well's run dry

Every time I get a second to myself
I can't help but give it up to someone else
My brain is like a cavernous, empty shell
And I'm lost inside

What is going on?
Where has my heart gone?
I miss the sun

I paint a smile on my face
I keep my hands busy
I try to trick myself
But I know I am not okay
I'm breaking under the weight
Of the guilt filling up my plate
I feel myself fading away

I just wanna be left all alone
Don't wanna say yes, don't wanna say no
Don't wanna hear a sound anywhere I go
The pain is too much, just let me be alone
It hurts me to stay, it kills me to go
Letting you down hurts more than you know
And I could never be all that you want
And it's been tearing me apart

What is going on?
Why am I so numb?
I miss the sun

I paint a smile on my face
I keep my hands busy
I try to trick myself
But I know I am not okay
I'm breaking under the weight
Of the guilt filling up my plate
I feel myself fading away

And I know I can't keep living this way
All these sleepless nights and wasted days
I know what's to come if I don't change
I'll soon've faded away

I think of everyone else, but no one's there for me
I've got to love myself and tell them I am not okay
I'm buried under the shame and there's nobody else to blame
I feel myself fading away
I won't let myself fade away