Full of Fear (It Is What It Is)

There are some days when I don't know if I'll wake up
It is what it is

I haven't called my mother in a year
Not even to check in on her mental health
It is what it is

I write to remember that my pain is real
And I am not alone in that
I just need you to fucking care

Many like me suffer in silence
For fear of seeming weak
For fear of seeming unstable
For fear of being alone

I am so full of fear that my body and bones
Can hold me up anymore
I am so full of fear that I don't even know
If I'm myself anymore

It is what it is

One of the greatest tragedies in life is the ability to feel
It's also what makes us human
So I'm conflicted
And forgive me if I'm being too pessimistic
But that's sort of my brand right now
The world is melting around us
And all I can think about is myself and these feelings
And how I'm so tied up in my own world
And my own fear
That I can't possibly be bothered by anyone else's problems

And yes, that's selfish but it's how I feel
And yes, that's disgusting but it's how I feel
How I feel, how I feel, how I feel is what it is

So yes, I feel because I'm human not in spite of the fear
The fear is excruciating, but therein lies the answer
The answer may guide me and the fear may be inviting but the fear is only the beginning

Everything else is extra credit

What more do you want from me?
What more do you want from me?
What more do you want from me?
What more do you want from me?

Many people think sending thoughts and prayers and love
Is enough to comfort in times of despair
But that ain't true
Survival isn't easy, survival can be messy
Survival takes recognizing sometimes you should ask for help

Fear is what divides us
It is what it is
Love is not enough to keep ourselves alive
It is what it is
Fear is what binds us
It is what it is
Love is not enough to keep our friends alive
It is what it is

I might sound like a broken record but this is just how I feel
I feel we have forgotten what it means to love
And that truth lies in where we hide
Oh, how shameful we've become

Yet we are meant to believe the world revolves around us
We don't know any better
That expectation has lead to the fear of it all being taken away
That fear is what guides us today

The pain we feel today
Will slowly begin to fade away
The pain we feel today
Will slowly begin to fade away
Will slowly begin to fade away
Will slowly begin to fade away
Will slowly begin to fade away
Will slowly begin to fade away