Monkey Say, Monkey Don't / Groovin' on My Way to Hell (Remastered)

I'm a doctor who kills
Just so long as the patient is unborn
I'm a Christian who won't turn the other cheek
If you're bold enough to cross me
You won't be smiling for weeks
I'm an atheist who has faith in humanity
I'm a pacifist who wants war on the rich
I want to die without sin
But not just yet
As a pornographer with standards
Too stringent to be met
And I'm a college student who cares
Until I get high
What can I do to help
When all my money's spent on drugs?

I say I'll do all these things
And then I do them half assed or not at all
Am I a hypocrite?
When everything I say I do the opposite?

I'm tolerant
Just not of you
And I'm no racist, but I want to kill whitey too
And I don't want to pay my taxes
But I want more war
On the Middle East
And on the poor
My land is the land of immigrants
But we're full
So go home
We've had enough
I'll call myself a democrat
Until I lose a vote
Now it seems the majority isn't always right
After all

I say I'll do all these things
And then I do them half assed or not at all
Am I a hypocrite?
When everything I say I do the opposite?

Or am I just ignorant?
I don't think it really matters
God take pity on me
I'm a sorry excuse for a human being