Sikk's Story (The Ballad of Starla)

Yo Sikk
Yo Sikk
Tell the boys about that girl man

I wanna hear a funny story today

Her name was Starla
And she wanted to be
A star so I told her
Baby come with me

We took a trip to the other side of town
Where the music is loud and the freaks come out

Talked to my mans
Said
Hook her up with a band
He said "can this hussy sing?"
I thought "I sure as Hell wish she can"

And I told him she was steller and her name was Stella
She's a diamond in the rough
He said "whatever just tell her;
If she flops she ain't singing in this town again."
I told him "gotcha"
Then I walked back up to Stella again
Told her "Stella it's secured - you better sing like the bird"
She said "my name is Starla butch"
I acted like I hadn't heard

We hit the back stage - she was sweating buckets
Didn't have no time to rehearse
I was sure she had nothing
My man asked me what song she singing I said " trust me you will love it"
Then I heard one of the band members blow on his trumpet

There was Shelly on stage with a spotlight in her face
When the band began to play she just started to sway
She let out an high A that was perfectly pitched
But bout 30 seconds in she looked like she was gonna be sick

And then she puked all over the stage man
It was
Uhh
It was terrible
She hurled on the trumpet man tux
She flipped one of the snares and filled it with vomit
Uhhhh
And I had to deal with the
I had to deal with it
(What'd you do?)
Imma tell you man
Lemme tell you

Escorted her out the venue
As quick as I could
She was balling out her eyes like "I'm sorry I didn't do good"

I'm like "I thought you were used to this"
She said "I'm used to singing to cats.
That's the first time I've been in front of an audience as big as that"

"Well you flopped big time and ain't no way you'll be going back "
I told her
"Richie lost respect for me and now I look like an ass"
She apologized and asked if their was anyway to repay me I said
"Maybe but your gonna hate me
Could you clean my Cadillac?"

And she did clean my car bro