Mr. Fister

"Mr. Fister, or maybe I misheard
Is that really your name?"
Said a man at a desk at an interview
To be a teacher down in Maine
"Well Mr. Fister, please don't be bitter
With what I have to say:
Our school's just looking for something else
We can't have a teacher here with that name"

And if the parents found out, they would just freak out

Mr Fister met a young hipster
Hippie kind of girl
He fell in love so instantly
And thought to take her out to The Pearl
But Mr Fister, he must of missed her
He couldn't find her there
She told him eight and now it was ten
Now he's crying in his chair

Maybe her work went late, maybe her car broke down
In a world where appearance means everything
Your name could take you out
When she heard my name I bet she just freaked out

Monday night and you're drunk as hell
Wednesday night and you're stoned as fuck
Mr Fister your tab's maxed out
And I think you had enough

I think what you need is a new start
A place where the people around
Don't care that your name is fister even if they found out

Fister ran away to a different part of the city
A place where the people asked his name
He told one man named Macho Tyson
My name is mr fister
And he said great come into our house

And he went in and he was surrounded and they put up their fists
And said we'll put your name to the test
And Fister screamed as he got pounded by five scary hairy men with spiky rings, so spiky

HE jumped out the window and got away

He tried to get away to Wang Chung city
No one speaks any English over there
He found a teaching job and life looked pretty
In Wang Chung city out of everywhere

We was teaching English there in Wang Chung city
And the kids were getting smarter every day
One day the kids were going through the English dictionary
Lo and behold they found Fister right in there
And they all screamed

Fister Ran for his life
Far away from everyone

Out here in the country
Just a man and his cows
They don't care at all
Even when he's behind them
Out here in the country
Just a man and his cows
Man I wish I had a real friend though
Man this place is bugging me out

When the world gets scary
When there's trouble at the door
Will you just run like hell?
Will you just run like hell?
When the world gets lonely Mr Fister where can you run
Where can you run like hell? Where can you go?
Man I'm going home

Mr Fister a met a real cute girl and she asked his name
He said If I tell you please don't be scared and she asked that he do the same
She said over pizza, my name is Laqueefa please don't be scared
I've been all alone my whole life, I never found anyone who cared about me

When the boys found out they all freaked out
In a world where appearance means everything
Your name can take you out
When the boys found out they all freaked out