Brilliant Blue

I don't wanna be
In the boy's club thing
Like we're nineteen
Making the same tired jokes
To make us feel we belong here

How can anybody be
More full of shit than me?
If I believe that I'm any different
That I'd be better than this
If you'd let me

But junkyard dogs carry on
Singing capricious songs
We're staring into shallow ponds
For a substitute for God
And I've been lost, but I'm movin' on

Sunday afternoon
It's been a month, I'm happier
I'm somewhere new
We're gonna round everyone up
Get some drinks, head to the park
Take some mushrooms

All the late nights at the bar
Are catching up with me and now
I'm flooded with the gratitude exhaustion can allow

I'm surrounded by my friends
Flooding all of that fear out
With his bottle in my hand
His cigarette still in my mouth
So consumed by that Brilliant Blue

Brilliant blue
Brilliant blue
Ooh, and the brilliant blue, I see you

I drink alone more than you'd like
Eating microwave meals
With cheap red wine
A couple bottles down
I put the clown suit on
Call somebody to get me high

I don't know if it was blood or sick
But it made me ill to clean
My fathers insides
Caked into the floor in front of me

And mortality's a thresher
The world's a broken bone
And I can't stand to think
That you went through that alone
And I was gone, you were all alone

Brilliant blue
Brilliant blue
And the brilliant blue is you

You drank alone more than we liked
You weren't eating, you looked a fright
I think I've always known
A truth too harsh to look in the eyes

And I stood watching The Libertines
With fingers through the fence
They looked strung out
But they were burning on
And I thought of you, old man

I knew that I owed you a call
And I'd left it for too long
But you stopped making sense
You were never sober any more
And when you called
I ignored them all

So I let it slide
And now you're gone
Into that brilliant blue

Brilliant blue
And the brilliant blue is you