Disconnection (Halfway Forgotten)

I met God and the Devil at a traffic light
I face angels and demons every single night
I always feel like I wanna die inside
But I can't because of my love and my pride

I've been living in the past every single day
And these thoughts of conflict don't seem to go away
With every way I move and all these moves, I sway
I really just don't want to live this way

Out of all the things that I really need to know
Will all this pain that I hold inside ever let me go?

I'm half forgotten, but my deeds will pierce
Straight through all your decisions
The root to all this suffering is this endless division
I'm disconnected, but my words will pierce
Straight through you like cataclysms
The root to this depression is my endless search for wisdom

I'm half forgotten, but through my deeds, my enlightenment will sing
I think I've found something, while I feel like I'm nothing
I'm disconnected, but my words will pierce
Straight through all your decisions
Cause the world is about living
And I'm seeing through all these visions

Within myself, I cannot breathe
My chest is fucking killing me
The pain inside is just so deep
All of it's there and it will keep
My life, my pride, my many sins
Why can't I find myself again?
Why can't I go way back again?
Why can't I start my life again?
Why has this life been a constant series
Of different things that which could have been?

My head is fucking spinning and my hands are fucking shaking
With death and harsh realities, there's absolutely no mistaking
That I am a fucking mess, but I know that I am rather blessed
There's so many sides to these dice
That I don't know what numbers are left
To count the probability, now what's been fuckin happening to me?
For so many years, I don't know what it is like to rest

I don't know what it's like to rest
So when you come down for me, I know I'm gonna win your test

I don't know what it's like to rest
So when you come down for me, I know I'm gonna win your test

Out of all the things that I really need to know
Will all this pain that I hold inside ever let me go?

I'm half forgotten, but my deeds will pierce
Straight through all your decisions
The root to all this suffering is this endless division
I'm disconnected, but my words will pierce
Straight through you like cataclysms
The root to this depression is my endless search for wisdom

I'm half forgotten, but through my deeds, my enlightenment will sing
I think I've found something, while I feel like I'm nothing
I'm disconnected, but my words will pierce
Straight through all your decisions
Cause the world is about living
And I'm seeing through all these visions