Journal.

Lately I've been struggling a lot to
stay motivated. With everything really.
During the summer I felt good I had
projects, and shows, and good exercise.
I felt good about what I was doing and how I was doing it.
But now, I feel ugly. I feel unlovable.
Exercise feels impossible. I feel alone.
I've been taking extra steps to reach out to
friends. But for the most part I'm mostly getting ignored.
Which surprises me.
I thought if I could reach out, I could get something.

Pages of life,
Pages of Tears,
Hope,
Fears,
Forever.

I understand that reading this for the
most part might seem like negative news.
I do have positive moments in my life
But I feel less compelled to write those thoughts down.
Writing here's therapeutic for me I guess.
So sorry a lot of it is negative.
I am surrounded by these thoughts a lot though
Thoughts of suicide, worthlessness, and the like.
There's not a lot of positive things in my life right now.
I want to hope that things will get better,
But I don't know that they ever will.
Maybe I should end my life.

Pages of life,
Pages of Tears,
Hope,
Fears,
Forever.

Hopefully you're suffering and you're wrong.
'Cause if you're suffering and
you're right, then there's no way to go.
A wise man once told me that.
I hope he's fine.
I love the thoughts of life and love, the dreams I am made of.
I want to reach them, and feel my heart grow.

Right now I'm leaning over my open window writing my thoughts.
A strange sense of peace is washing over me right now.
Cool, crisp air is caressing my face,
And I'm just listening to the gentle hum of the city.
There is a faint smell of cigarette smoke piercing my nose.
I can see the stars speckle across the sky.
The trees across the rooftops ahead of me making a pretty silhouette.
And I feel still.

Pages of life,
Pages of Tears,
Hope,
Fears,
Forever.



Credits
Writer(s): Zachary Ammon Peterson
Lyrics powered by www.musixmatch.com

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