Salvation and Saving Face

Is there anyone awake back home?
Starting to feel alone again
In a room full of people, I'm the only one in it
I thought I heard your voice
But I know I didn't
I know I didn't
Is there anyone awake back home?
I'm starting to feel like I know
What it's like to move on
But waking up finding you gone
Still feels awkward and I hate it
I wish I could fake it
So much better than this
So much better than this

What if I never come back from this
Forever part of my eternal darkness?
Tell me what it's like
To live on the other side
To live in love and light

And all those flippant drunken nights
Feel like little falls from grace
My hands feel stained
I can't find the place between
Salvation and saving face
And all the bad ways I cope
They show through my clothes
If a younger me could see me now
Would she be horrified or proud?

I was a martyr
You pulled me under
All of these scars
I can't cover
I wish I were better
I wish it were over
You left my hyper heart out of the water
Promises get broken
Hearts get stolen
Sometimes you don't get them back
Where is the exit
Where's the medication
How do I let go of
My dedication

Oh, what if I never come back from this
Forever part of my eternal darkness?
Tell me what it's like
To live on the other side
To live in love and light